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Archive for February, 2019

Sunday

February 3rd, 2019 at 06:57 pm

Our Sunday morning routine is to do our weekly shopping. Husband and I look at the Publix and Winn Dixie sales fliers, look through the refrigerator and pantry and make a shopping list. It never seems like a long list...and it never seems like an expensive list. We hit four stores (in order - Target, Aldi's, Publix and Winn Dixie) and get 99% of our shopping done. Sometimes, only some times, do we swing by Trader Joes on the way home. We are a fan of some TJ staples...all in total, we spend between $100 and $150 per week. This is supplemented with a monthly BJs warehouse run. Our grand total for groceries is usually 1,000 or so.

Thank you all for the comments to my last post. I approached the topic of "working on the relationship" and husband took it well. I mentioned, while sweeping the kitchen, that I had a dream that we were divorcing. He replied that didn't sound like a good dream. I responded with, you have to admit we need to work on our relationship. Not much was said then and I figured my comments had fallen on deaf ears, like usual. But today, during our Sunday routine - when we were in the car without kids - husband asked, what can we do to work on our relationship. I wasn't prepared and could only rattle off a few things. But the fact that he asked, make we feel better. At least I feel that he cares enough to follow up on the question. We talked while we drove to the stores and he acknowledged that I do more in the relationship.

I plan to call and see about a counselor so I can better form my thoughts around why I am miserable or what is missing in the relationship. People often suggest seeking help at church but that has never felt appropriate for me. Counseling is tough for me as it is contrary to my upbringing. But, you all are right, I need someone to listen.

Thank you all for the support....

Stressed....

February 1st, 2019 at 02:09 pm

Money comes and goes. Lately it seems that more goes than comes. I have tried various ways to budget and track spending. I just can't seem to make anything really work for me. (Yes, I have tried YNAB and EveryDollar.)

Right now, I have an excel spreadsheet that I track income and deduct monthly bills. If we don't overspend, we have a small surplus. But something always seems to come up. I budget on 2 paychecks per month and don't include unplanned extra income. Unplanned extra income means expense check surplus from my work travel and any amount over $500/bi-weekly pay check for my husband. He works an hourly paid job at a big box store so work hours vary each week and pay period (some weeks he gets 20 hours and some weeks he gets over 30 hours).

The way the budget is set up, we are living on last month's income and I automatically put money into savings (a little, but still). I rarely have to transfer money from savings into checking to pay bills. But I am still stressed on squeezing out more savings....or providing extras for my family.

We don't carry a credit card balance and we use the credit card for everything. It helps me track spending but when you get a $5,000 credit card bill, it takes my breath away. I have talked to my husband about paying cash but we both are uncomfortable carrying large cash amounts around. I get uneasy if I have more than $50 in my wallet.

I'm stressing over money because I wonder how we could afford to live if we were to separate. At 15 years, our marriage is stressed and we are functioning more as roommates. I keep dreaming about divorcing. Clearly, based on income, I would have to pay some sort of support should we divorce. Life would definitely have to downsize. I need to put my "big girl pants on" and have a serious conversation with my husband. But, I am afraid of the outcome.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I feel this way because of horrible menopause or if I have really fallen out of love for my husband. I need to pray on this....

I am sad. I am stressed. I continue to function...

Sorry y'all...this money blog has turned out to be more therapy.....next one will be better....